2016 Minnesota State Fair
Llamas ran the show this year.

Brainerd Minnesota NHRA Nationals 2016

For the past number of years I have been going up to watch the big time, real deal drag racing in a small town in the middle of the state. My Dad brought me up there one day on an off year where none of my Uncles could make it up with him as he has been going since the early 90's. We went up for the afternoon, 3 hours each way driving, to see pit lane and sit in the cheap seats at the end of the run (it may have still been 1/4 mile back then).

 The first experience I had was in the pits where they work on the top fuel funny and drag cars. The engines are completely disassembled, inspected, rebuilt, adjusted, and put back together while you stand in line for a porta potty. After they are reassembled the teams start up the motors for testing, maybe five minutes at most, bringing to life this burbling beast. As the crews whose faces are hidden behind gas masks, busy making sure they didn't miss a bolt somewhere, crowds form around them. This is a site in itself as mostly newbies stand too close to pit and get a face full of nitromethane fuel quickly cowering away with red crying eyes, and runny nose. It takes a good 10 minutes to breathe full capacity again, and probably 10 years off your life. I will never forget the smell.

At that time my Father was still getting promotional tickets from his work which came with access to old wooden bleachers at the end of the rows of multi-story aluminum structures. After watching what seemed like 100 pro stock cars go by (which are in no way stock, think nascar) the big guys rolled up. First you hear the noise on the loud speaker and then a split second later just as loud from the water box, looking down to the start there is a huge cloud of tire smoke from the burnouts. It then quiets down, as the motor idles out of the headers with no muffler, it's still loud. Trying to make out the little blue staging lights on the tree to see if the cars have moved to the starting position when the revs jump up and the yellows start to fall. The noise. The wall of pressure. The experience is like nothing else.
Here are some photos from this years race.

That was a trip.

I travelled 3,218 miles in 7 days. The first day was the longest with 700 miles, and it was probably the worst day, but had the biggest learning curve. Riding in 70 degree weather is cold. If clouds are blocking the sun, it's cold. If you are anywhere near water, it's cold. If the sun is out it's hot as hell. The only luxury I had while riding was a 2 liter platypus canteen in my backpack. Why is it called platypus? It doesn't matter. Through most of the trip I travelled around 80 MPH. I became so used to it that 70 felt like a snails pace. I tried to find another car going a similar speed just so that I wouldn't run too fast. Although I had tried to keep to highway 61 going south, it was too slow and it took me almost half the day to get to Iowa. After that I stuck to the freeways. Zippity zoom zoom. According to math I could do 140 miles til I hit the reserve on my tank, which I only did on the last day. I mostly went to 115 miles or so, which if I think about it now ate up a lot of time. I have a small gas tank anyways, and my knees bent back felt like they were going to explode on some days.

MY GEAR:
I am surprised at all of the weird looks I got on the trip wearing my suit. The best was in Nashville where I walked around with the pants and boots without the jacket. Or, the time in the bathroom in southern Mississippi where a guy asked if I was a skydiver because a friend of his wears something similar in the military.

Helmet:

This is an AGV K4 Evo that I have had about a year and a half. It was not the right helmet for the trip. As the bike directed the wind at my head and shoulders this took a lot of the brunt. The first day it felt like a 2x4 being pressed on the front of my head. I had to wear a bandana to prevent my brain from exploding. It also let bugs in through the vents, when I showered I washed them out of my hair and it was gross. 

Jacket:

This is the Alpinestars Andes that I have had since last fall. It is a pretty great jacket that I have worn in the cold while snowmobiling and through the heat in Alabama. It doesn't deal with the heat too great because it has a "breathable waterproof membrane" so the vent that open up don't actually let air to my body, but just around the jacket. The good thing though is that it is mostly waterproof, some water gets in at the lower part of the zipper, as the cover to it is split so that it can open up and be zipped down half way for ventilation. It comes with top quality pads in the elbows and shoulders, and simple foam pads in the chest and back. I replaced the back piece with a top of the line racing back protector. some of the edges of the pockets are showing some wear, but it is still holding up very well for a low priced touring coat, that was given months of abuse in the time of a week. One thing I noticed as I was riding though a heavy downpour is how much the grey matches the color of the rain. It does have reflective pieces all over it which you cant really see in the photo. Now I need to figure out how to clean all of the bug remains, bat blood, road grime, and street sludge off of it. 

Pants:

These are the matching Andes pants, because style is key. These guys have good knee pads, and then flimsy foam on the hips. On the front thigh there are vents big enough to be used as pockets, and on the back it is just a small vent opening. My biggest complaint with these is that the knee pad pocket opens from the bottom, so I was often checking to see if I was going to lose one. These are rally awkward to walk around in.

Boots:

Pictured here are Gaerne something something waterproof sports style boots. Again since they are waterproof they do get sweaty on the inside, even though they have whatever they call their gore tex style water out/ no water in science stuff. There is a zipper on the inside of the boot and then a large velcro flap to tighten it. This ol' guy has hard plastic protectors in all of the good spots. One thing it is missing from the higher end boots is an ankle brace that keeps the foot in line where it should be in the event of a crash. Of all my gear that is italian (the helmet, jacket and pants) these were made in Italy, probably why they're so stylish and hip. 

Gloves:

Aerostich out of Duluth makes these gloves. Although these don't provide much for safety, they make up for it with comfort. This set is the elk skin touchscreen roper. They have touch screen conductive threads in the finger tips, and the greatest thing ever, a squeegee in the thumb. They were so amazing, every time I used the thumb wiper, the better it worked. I did bring another pair of full gauntlet racing gloves that reduced the strain on my hands but for some reason caused the vibration of the bike to make my thumb numb. I wore those other gloves the first day and my thumb stayed numb through the third day, so I stuck with these guys. My next pair of gloves will be their full gauntlet with knuckle padding fer sher. 

Back Pack:

This little beauty is the Kriega R20, shown with a lock that is stuck on it. This bag can hold twenty liters of junk, and has straps on the back to hook on another pack to the back. It is semi waterproof, but if you hang out in the wet everything will get damp, so I had a small garbage bag in there for extra insurance. The best part of this thing is the shoulder strap system that eliminates the feeling of weight on your shoulders which is now copied by a lot of other back packs. The shoulder straps adjust from the top and the bottom to fit anyone anyway. It has four straps on the back to cinch everything tight, limiting any effect of wind catching it, and keeping everything secure. They do sell a "hydration system" made specially for their bags, but I just grabbed a 2 liter canteen thinger with the straw that I ran out of the side of the zip. I have had this beauty for years, it also has reflective material on the straps on front and printed on the back. Funny thing is that this bag was once stolen out of my truck, recovered by the police who called me saying they found my bag which had a bunch of ants in it. They left it outside the front door of the house wrapped in brown paper and evidence tape, and when I opened it up there were a bunch of ants still in it. 

The Bike:

This thing is ancient in terms of sport bikes, but really all that means is that it is still comfortable. It is a 1998 CBR600F3. All I did to prep for the trip was change the chain and sprockets, and also the oil and filter. It already had a tool set with extra supplies that I put in there a while ago. After I got a flat tire last year I keep a bike pump and tire plugs with the bike. This ol' thing is pretty beat up, but it doesn't matter to me, it's incredibly reliable and basic. 

Other stuff I used through the trip were ear plugs, a couple pairs of really awesome socks. All of this stuff, and you too can look like D.B. Cooper!

Some things I would change next time I take a trip would be that I take less clothes. Half way through everything all smelled the same from being in an air tight bag in the heat. I think I would have liked to do more planning so that I could do more camping, but I didn't and usually ended up pretty close to anything I wanted to do, if I wanted to do anything. I didn't hang out in St. Louis, just drove through it missing out on some wicked BBQ as legend has it. I missed out on a lot of BBQ I feel, as I didn't really eat. In New Orleans, it was a bummer it was raining so much, I would have loved to get breakfast their and see what the french quarter is like during daytime. Do the weirdo's still linger, or do they crawl back into the sewer. How do sewers work there? So many questions. Nashville was intense, from the somewhat lame plantation, to the wild energy during the day. Kentucky was beautiful, lots of different landscapes. At one place I do believe I saw billboard saying "Worlds longest underground zip line." Say what! Had I known Indiana was going to be such a pain I would had cut back to go through Illinois farmland. Also I wanted to stop at a 7-11, grab an Icee and loiter in Chicago, possibly while listening to Smashing Pumpkins. 

Now that I know that I can do this, that I can't be afraid to be too far from home for anyone to be there to help, to be truly on my own, was powerful. To find my limitations and accept them, as it turns out four days running on the road and going though brand new towns fried my brain. I had stopped thinking clearly, maybe it had to do with my not being able to take care of myself properly. I didn't drink enough water even though it was conveniently there for me. I hardly ever ate other than beef jerky, nuts, and whatever. I drank red bulls a plenty. I pushed myself to keep going the times I was hurting, but I took the breaks I needed when I needed them. I had very few near accidents, all would have been my fault. Even though as a motorcyclist I accept all responsibility when anything happens. Everyday you're learning. In the end I made it home safe, and sore. I know I didn't break any records, and there are tons of people who could ride longer, faster, whatever better than me, but there is always next time.

The city that beer built.

 

I can't remember what the town is actually called, but it has something to do with being awesome. I woke up at seven already knowing that it was supposed to rain, but I was hoping it wouldn't be for long. It rained forever. An hour after I woke up I rechecked the radar and the rain just kept covering more and more area. 1030 came around and I said screw it and left. I had wanted to leave a lot earlier because I was going to go to the Harley Davidson museum by around 9 when it opened. I went to north Milwaukee to check out this motorcycle coffee shop called fuel cafe. This place was really cool, photos of all sorts of racing and on one wall there was a giant photo of some 70's dirt track racers. This place was doing it right. I haven't had a coffee that good in a long ass time. They also host some motorcycle gatherings throughout the year, might have to go for it sometime. I then headed souf through the city to the museum. I got a strong industrial/ hard working town. Bars and factories all intertwined in the same way the new and old parts of the city did as well. The museum was right downtown next to the river in a cool looking modern blacked out buildings. I parked my little baby honda next to all the other massive touring Harley's. It was 18 bucks to get in, which I was questioning why as the barber museum was 15 and had a lot more bikes, but the way everything was set up with the memorabilia and the effects and lighting was pretty damn sweet. I saw Harley #1 so that was a thing that happened. One really strange thing, well I guess it not strange since it is how Harley does shit, but they had  very little displays of their new stuff, like the v rod. The museum worked though I really wanted a Harley half way through, but then they got into "look at how cool our owners are, and how they have style" rather than the bikes themselves. Just trying to sell the brand. Still, after seeing the New Orleans cops on Harley's did look pretty cool. Anyways, I had to get the fuck out of Milwaukee to make it home before dark. When I got out slide the rain had become nearly over, and the sun started shining through and all the roads started steaming up. Pretty awesome. Off I went to Minnesota. People stopped driving properly. I assume that since people are going ten over the speed limit they are and always will be the "faster moving traffic" so they sit there and plant, holding everyone up. Some fuckwad wouldn't move over with two wide open lanes to the right of him, and as I passed him on the right he flicked me off. I don't get it. Wisconsin is all farm and forest, pretty to look at, but you have no reference or cities on the way to use as reference. I spent the last 140 miles of Wisconsin  behind two gals in a Pontiac g6, and as the pulled off in Hudson they waved goodbye, so sweet. Coming through St. Paul/ Minneapolis it was weird looking at it comparing the  past 13 or so metros over the week.